Visits Away from Dementia Care Facilities
June 21, 2019
How Families and Loved Ones Cope with Travel and Away Visits
As Spring turns to Summer, I know a number of families who either have been, or plan on taking their loved one to other places, on visits to family and friends. Many of these visits include planning an overnight trip.
Any time outside of a dementia care facility can be difficult for someone with dementia. I know a family who recently made a change for dinner visits, from having mom over for dinner to having family come to mom. Bringing mom to the house proved to be very overwhelming. It was clearly less enjoyable for everyone now, but just several months ago this had not been the case.
Are Short Visits Really Short?
Often even what is a fairly short time to you and me is too lengthy for people with dementia. The time getting ready to go, getting in the car, riding in the car, and getting out of the car and into the house adds up. This, coupled with the same time to get back home, adds considerable mental and physical strain on people with dementia. So many things to do, see and think about when your mind is slow can make this a very long and difficult time.
Overnights: Being Prepared and Flexible
I know several families who have regularly gone on overnight and weekend trips, including their loved one with dementia.These families know that they are not just on vacation themselves. They are caregivers during this time away. Much like bringing children with you on a trip, special preparations are required, along with being prepared to change whatever plans you’ve made – even being prepared to cut the trip short.
A family I know is planning an overnight for the first time since their loved one has moved into our facility. They are hoping and planning to make this an overnight trip. They are also prepared for it to be a day trip, if that is what is better. They plan on not telling their loved one it is for an overnight. If things go well, then it will be an overnight trip. Their loved one will be in for a happy surprise at hearing they are spending the night if things go well. And the family, of course, will have all of the clothes, medications and such for the overnight. But they are managing expectations, not just for their loved one but for themselves. If they have to take their loved one home the same day, making it a day trip, then that is what the plan was all along. Their loved one is not upset with their family or themselves for not being able to stay the night. And the family, too, does not feel like they have failed if they don’t all spend the night.
No Time Like the Present
Some families have gone on much longer trips and plane rides to destinations. This is a risk, to be sure, but often a risk worth taking. A person with dementia is generally about as ready as they ever will be for this kind of trip. A few months or a year from now, it may still work, but it won’t be any easier than the present. If anything, it is likely to be more difficult with waiting, and may not even be possible. For those with dementia, there is truly no time like the present in so many ways.
If you are thinking about travel and overnight stays in places, do so with thoughtfulness and preparation for everyone involved. I write this not to discourage, but to encourage if anything. These are blessed opportunities that will not always be possible. Again, be prepared to change plans and having more than one person who can be a caregiver along is probably, but not always, necessary.
Be prepared that there will likely be difficulty along with joy. These trips are a gift you are giving to your loved one and hopefully a gift to yourself.
Reverend Arlen Solem
Chaplain and Campus Pastor
For questions about our spiritual care program, or if you would like spiritual care and support for you or your loved one, contact Chaplain Arlen Solem at 612-554-6379 or apsolem@augustanacare.org.
At Emerald Crest, we offer a deep knowledge of memory care in a specialized assisted living setting for seniors with Alzheimer’s and dementia-related conditions. We encourage you to contact us directly with any questions or request a tour.
Emerald Crest provides memory care in a unique environment, specifically designed to support those with cognitive issues. Utilizing this exceptional model of care, individuals with dementia, Alzheimer’s and related conditions can flourish in positive relationships and participation in meaningful activities. Memory care is offered in the Minneapolis – Saint Paul area with communities in four convenient locations: Shakopee, Burnsville, Minnetonka and Victoria, MN.
