Holidays and Memory Care: Traditions and Changes

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Holidays offer opportunities to enjoy with loved ones in memory care, adapting to change while also honoring traditions

The holidays are fast approaching. There are so many traditions and memories with this time of year. Often times, there are big family get togethers. Baking and decorating. Cooking and buying presents.

Many of our residents at Emerald Crest were a part of this. Many of our residents would have been hosts in the past and been people who made a lot of goodies that people fatten up on for the cold winter months.

Now, though, these people have changed. No longer the hosts nor making treats. No longer buying or making presents, but still, families really want to include their loved ones in these activities and family get togethers.

Traveling and Visiting Away from Memory Care

For a few of our residents a visit away from their memory care residence can go alright. They can go to a loved one’s home for a few hours and do just fine. But for most of our residents this is no longer the case.

Taking people out can include a lot of logistical problems. Who will help mom when she has to use the bathroom? At Emerald Crest, there are large bathrooms with all sorts of things to assist someone to stand up and plenty of room for someone to assist them if need be. And what if mom has an accident?

Sometimes people will want to bring a resident to large family gatherings. Again sometimes this can go well but sometimes mom or dad sit in a chair while everyone else moves about and socializes. Watching people moving about and talking and laughing and kids playing can be really exhausting for many of our residents.

For many of our residents, the car ride to and from a location, especially in colder months can be really tiring in and of itself. Getting bundled up, going out in the cold, getting in and out of a vehicle and even the ride itself can be very tiring. And as you know for a lot of people what was once a cool day now feels frigid.

So, what can you do? 

Holiday Celebrations at Memory Care

Time together and holiday traditions can still happen, but they just might look a little different now.

Coming to Emerald Crest is certainly a great thing to do. Many of our houses have a sunroom off the dining room that works to have a little family gathering. The housing directors would be able to help you with arrangements. 

Keep in mind that often less is more. Instead of having everyone visit at once, plan for people come in smaller groups, a few people at a time. Also remember that for many of our residents, a visit even as short as 15 minutes can be very meaningful. Of course, visits can be longer too, but making it a special time does not mean it has to be a long time. Don’t think that just because you live far away and can’t come often or that because it is a holiday that you need to make your visit long. Quality over quantity.

Ideas to Make Holidays Special

If your loved made some different foods or other items in the past you can bring those to them, letting them know how much you appreciated getting these gifts from them in the past. 

At one of our locations, the son of one of our residents will visit, and together we make lefse, (it’s a Scandinavian food, kind of like a potato tortilla). Mom used to make lots and lots of it around Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now we schedule a time to do this. This woman’s son comes with the dough ready to go and we bake it there while mom and the other residents watch and enjoy the fruits of our labors. If something like this interests you, please talk to the Emerald Crest management team about whether something can be arranged. All our houses and locations are a bit different.

Children Visiting Memory Care for Holidays

Children are nearly universally beloved by our residents and nearly universally loved in small doses. Lots of little kids are fun to watch but can be quickly exhausting for our residents. Another example of less being more. I know too though, that it is very special sometimes for people to see all the grandkids or great grandkids together at once. For your loved one and for the sake of our other residents, these large group gatherings should be kept quite short.

I know from my own experience with my kids who will occasionally come to Emerald Crest, some of the happiest I have seen our residents was when one of my young boys comes along and brings a toy with him. My youngest son in particular had a wooden train set that he liked to set up and move the trains around the tracks. He has done this in the living room and does so pretty calmly. Lots of residents gathered round and enjoyed watching him play quietly.

I remember this same son sitting near a woman who could no longer get her words out well and could often be frustrated by that. My son also mispronounced words quite often. But these two sat next to each other and chit chatted about I don’t know what. This woman was so calm and at ease speaking freely with a child, without worry about whether she was saying things correctly or not. Both of their tones and intentional listening spoke volumes.

With many young children, the more there are the more likely it is that a space turns into a playground. With my two anecdotes about my son coming, I know it is not a coincidence that his brother was not along with him. Things would not have been so calm had they been together. That is not to say bringing more than one young child at a time isn’t possible, but just know that the amount of time you spend might decrease as the number of kids increases.

Focusing on Love and Togetherness

Also remember that the specific day is not nearly as important as your presence. You don’t have to come on Thanksgiving or Christmas or another holiday exactly. Many of our residents have ups and downs in their days. If you come one day and it isn’t a good day, you don’t need to try and force it. You can come a different day or sometimes even a different time that same day. Many of our full-time staff can tell you what time of day your loved one is most likely to be perky. Most of our residents do not remember the exact day it is, and those that do will likely be very understanding if you are not present on the exact day of the holiday.

Holidays can be very stressful as it is, enjoyable and meaningful but also stressful. Don’t put more stress on yourself and your loved one by trying to do too much. Less is more. I can say with confidence that your loved one almost certainly does quite well and enjoys their life when you are not present. For most of our residents, they do not miss their families when their families are not present, but they love to see them when they are. That is one of the hidden blessings that so often goes along with dementia.

God Bless You this Holiday Season!

Reverend Arlen Solem

Chaplain and Campus Pastor

In gratitude, thank you so much to all of our volunteers and donors who make all of the work we do at Cassia possible. Your contributions are greatly appreciated and needed to ensure we are able to fulfill our mission.

For questions about our spiritual care program, or if you would like spiritual care and support for you or your loved one, contact Chaplain Arlen Solem at 612-263-0503. or Arlen.Solem@cassialife.org.

At Emerald Crest, we offer a deep knowledge of memory care in a specialized assisted living setting for seniors with Alzheimer’s and dementia-related conditions. We encourage you to contact us directly with any questions or request a tour. For tours and general information, please contact Elizabeth Wendel at 952-908-2215.

Emerald Crest by Cassia provides memory care in a unique environment, specifically designed to support those with cognitive issues. Utilizing this exceptional model of care, individuals with dementia, Alzheimer’s and related conditions can flourish in positive relationships and participation in meaningful activities. Memory care is offered in the Minneapolis – Saint Paul area with communities in four convenient locations: Shakopee, Burnsville, Minnetonka and Victoria, MN.